Off and on, for the past year now, I have been listening, intently and sympathetically, with great interest I might add, to the eerily similar, romantic stories of two lady friends, both trying to make heads or tails, of the relationships, they find themselves in today.
Sigh and Ughh. I feel their pain and angst. I get it.
It’s by no stretch, a pretty or perfect picture, for either of them, but one that you, yourself, have likely either experienced or participated in conversations over, with friends and colleagues. It’s not uncommon at all.
They both are telling me, more or less, the same thing about their guy lovers and partners-the sex is good, even great at times, but neither, deep down, feel a connection to the deeper and connective parts of this other person. Damn.
In other words, they enjoy and appreciate the physicality of each romantic interlude, regardless of whether it is long or short, but, ultimately, in their quiet moments, question the relationship’s longevity and intimacy?
Is it worth it? Is this what I really want? Is there better? Am I better than this? Do I want better?
Let’s be honest.
Attraction is not the same as connection.
Orgasm is not the same as intimacy.
You know exactly what I’m talking about? Been there, done that?
These two, quite different and separate conversations, both with women I adore, have got my head spinning, about the exact same sentiment and sentimentalities that happen, every day, by thousands, in photography.
I can’t flush it out of my head. It haunts me.
The exact same conflict and conundrum in photography exists behind the lens, for me, and tens of thousands of other conflicted snappers.
Attraction is not the same as connection.
The beautiful is not the same as remarkable.
Most of you, reading this, I’m guessing, take a casual approach with your iPhone photography.
You shoot, with dedicated or phone cameras, often without artistic or journalistic intent, whatever fancy’s you, as the everyday moments and memories, present themselves to you and your camera, through the routines, rituals, and rhythms of life. Click.
You likely point your camera at the very commonplace and pedestrian scenes and subjects, that your brain and experience, have taught you, over time and experience, to look at and value, as beautiful. Click again.
There is no deep connection to what you are shooting, only a casual and surface attraction.
But what if there was more, way more, in photography, that you weren’t seeing or dialed in to, because you were more obsessed with the beautiful than the remarkable.
Stay with me on this.
What if those non-traditional subjects, the potential “remarkable stuff”, often the stuff that none else really pays attention to, trumps the formularized “beautiful” stuff.
Again, attraction is not the same as connection.
Orgasm is not the same as intimacy.
What if there was a world of remarkable subjects and objects, out there, that far exceeded, the world of pedestrian and predictable subjects (ie Sunrise, sunsets, flowers, lattes, workout routines, selfies, walks with your furry friend, etc)
This is exactly the difference between the beautiful and the remarkable, between attraction and connection, between orgasm and intimacy, between short and long-term fulfillment
Dig deeper. Go beyond the surface. Find your remarkable, in life and in photography.
If this remarkable trumps the beautiful…….so be it.
A new world of remarkableness awaits you and your camera.
The “beautiful”, as we have been trained to accept, never really lasts or endures. Remarkable does! At least to you.
Here’s the real epiphany. As you progress in the fine art of seeing, more than not, the stuff that you once considered beautiful becomes not-so-remarkable. And the not-so-markable stuff becomes your new beautiful.
Click
Jack
